The Book of Suckling

Never did I find any woman more loving to me than Sauda bint Zam’a. I wished I could be exactly like her who was passionate. As she became old, she had made over her day (which she had to spend) with Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) to ‘A’isha. She said: I have made over my day with you to ‘A’isha. So Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) allotted two days to ‘A’isha, her own day (when it was her turn) and that of Sauda.

When Sauda became old (the rest of the hadith is the same) and in the narration of Sharik there is an addition (of these words:” She was the first woman whom he (Allah’s Apostle) married after me.”

I felt jealous of the women who offered themselves to Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) and said: Then when Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, revealed this:” You may defer any one of them you wish, and take to yourself any you wish; and if you desire any you have set aside (no sin is chargeable to you)” (xxxiii. 51), I (‘A’isha.) said: It seems to me that your Lord hastens to satisfy your desire.

Does the woman not feel shy of offering herself to a man? Then Allah the Exalted and Glorious revealed this verse:” You may defer any of them you wish and take to yourself any you wish.” I (‘A’isha said): It seems to me that your Lord hastens to satisfy your desire.

This is the wife of Allah’s Apostle (ﷺ) ; so when you lift her bier, do not shake her or disturb her, but be gentle, for Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) had nine wives, with eight of whom he shared his time, but to one of them, he did not allot a share. ‘Ati said: The one to whom he did not allot a share of time was Safiyya, daughter of Huyayy b. Akhtab.

Ibn Juraij narrated a hadith with the same chain of transmitters, and she (Hadrat Maimuna) was the last of them to die at Medina.

A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status. her beauty and her religion, so try to get one who is religious, may your hand be besmeared with dust.

I married a woman during the lifetime of Allah’s Messenger (may peace be. upon him). I met the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), whereupon he said: Jabir, have you married? I said: Yes. He said: A virgin or one previously marrried? I said: With due previously married, whereupon he said: Why did you not marry a virgin with whom you could sport? I said: Allah’s Messenger, I have sisters; I was afraid that she might intervene between me and them, whereupon he said: Well and good, if it is so. A woman is married for four reasons, for her religion, her property, her status, her beauty, so you should choose one with religion. May your hands cleave to dust.

I married a woman, whereupon Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said to me: Have you married? I said: Yes. He said: Is it a virgin or a previously married one (widow or divorced)? I said: With a previously married one, whereupon he said: Where had you been (away) from the amusements of virgins? Shu’ba said: I made a mention of it to ‘Amr b. Dinar and he said: I too heard from Jabir making mention of that (that Allah’s Apostle) said: Why didn’t you marry a girl, so that you might sport with her and she might sport with you?

‘Abdullah died and he left (behind him) nine or seven daughters. I married a woman who had been previously married. Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said to me: Jabir, have you married? I said: Yes. He (again) said: A virgin or one previously married? I said: Messenger of Allah, with one who was previously married, whereupon he said: Why didn’t you marry a young girl so that you could sport with her and she could sport with you, or you could amuse with her and she could amuse with you? I said to him: ‘Abdullah died (he fell as martyr in Uhud) and left nine or seven daughters behind him; I, therefore, did not approve of the idea that I should bring a (girl) like them, but I preferred to bring a woman who should look after them and teach them good manners, whereupon he (Allah’s Messenger) said: May Allah bless you, or he supplicated (for the) good (to be) conferred on me (by Allah).

Jabir, have you married? The rest of the hadith is the same up to (the words):” The woman would look after them and comb them.” He (Allah’s Messenger), said: You did well. But no mention is made of the subsequent portion.

We were with Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) in an expedition. When we returned I urged my camel to move quickly as it was slow. There met me a rider from behind me and he goaded it with an iron-tipped stick which he had with him. My camel moved forward like the best that you have ever seen. As I turned (my face) I found him to be Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) He said: Jabir, what hastens you? I said: Messenger of Allah, I am newly wedded. whereupon he said: Is it a virgin that you have married or one previously married? I said: With one previously married. He said: Why not a young girl so that you could play with her and she could play with you? Then when we arrived at and were about to enter Medina he said: Wait, so that we may enter by night (i. e. in the evening) in order that the woman with dishevelled hair may comb it, and the woman whose husband had been away may get herself clean; and when you enter (then you have the) enjoyment (of tho wife’s company).

I went out with Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) on an expedition, but my camel delayed me. Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) came to me and said to me: Jabir, I said: Yes. Allah’s Messenger, (here I am at your beck and call) He said: What is the matter with you? I said: My camel has delayed me and is tired, so I have lagged behind. He (the Holy Prophet) got down and goaded it with a crooked stick and then said: Mount it. So I mounted and (to my great surprise) I saw it (moving so quickly that) I had to restrain it (from going ahead of) Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ). He (the Holy Prophet) (in the course of journey said to me): Have you married? I said: Yes. He (again) said: Is it with a virgin or one previously married? I said. With one previously married, whereupon he (again) said: Why not with a young girl with whom you could sport and she could have sported with you? I said: I have sisters, so I preferred to marry a woman who could keep them together (as one family). who could comb them and look after them. He said: You are about to go (to your house), and there you have the enjoyment (of the wife’s company). He again said: Do you want to sell your camel? I said: Yes. So he bought it from me for one u’qiya (of silver), Then Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) arrived (at Medina) and I arrived in the evening. I went to the mosque and found him at the door of the mosque, and said: Is it now that you have arrived? I said: Yes, He said: Leave your camel, and enter (the mosque) and offer two rak’ahs. So I entered and offered two rak’ahs of prayer, and then returned. He (the Holy Prophet) then commanded Bilal to weigh out one ‘uqiya (of silver) tor me. Bilal weighed that out for me (lowering the scale of) balance. So I proceeded and as I turned my back he said: Call for me, Jabir. So I was called back, and I said (to myself): He would return me the camel, and nothing was more displeasing to me than this (that after having received the price I should also get the camel). He said: Take your camel and keep its price with you, (also).

We were with Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) in a journey, and I was riding a camel meant for carrying water and it lagged behind all persons. Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) hit it or goaded it (I think) with something he had with him. And after it (it moved so quickly) that it went ahead of all persons and it struggled with me (to move faster than I permitted It) and I had to restrain it. Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said: Do you sell it at such and such (price)? May Allah grant you pardon. I said: Allah’s Apostle, it is yours. He (again) said: Do you sell it at such and such (price)? May Allah grant you pardon. ‘ I said: Allah’s Apostle, it is yours. He said to me: Have you married after the death of your father? I said: Yes. He (again) said: With one previously married or a virgin? I said: With one previously married. He said: Why didn’t you marry a virgin who might amuse you and you might amuse her, and she might sport with you and you might sport with her? Abu Nadra said: That was the common phrase which the Muslims spoke:” You do such and such (thing) and Allah may grant you pardon.”

The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman.

Woman is like a rib. When you attempt to straighten it, you would break it. And if you leave her alone you would benefit by her, and crookedness will remain in her.

A hadith like this is reported by another chain of narrators.

Woman has been created from a rib and will in no way be straightened for you; so if you wish to benefit by her, benefit by her while crookedness remains in her. And if you attempt to straighten her, you will break her, and breaking her is divorcing her.

He who believes in Allah and the Hereafter, if he witnesses any matter he should talk in good terms about it or keep quiet. Act kindly towards woman, for woman is created from a rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is its top. If you attempt to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it, its crookedness will remain there. So act kindly towards women.

A believing man should not hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.

A hadith like this has been narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him).

Had it not been for Eve, woman would have never acted unfaithfully towards her husband.

These are some of the ahadith which Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) narrated to us from Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ), and one of these (this one): Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said: Had it not been for Bani Isra’il, food would not have become stale, and meal would not have gone bad; and had it not been for Eve, a woman would never have acted unfaithfully toward her husband.